There was once I read a book about someone who knows Music therapy whereby instruments or/and songs are involved during the therapy. It's basically a form of psychology that helps in improve or maintain health - be it physical or mentally.
Well, and I was thinking, what exactly will happen to me if I were to go through music therapy. Perhaps I might scream like any other mentally unsound screened on TV dramas, or maybe I might end up crying and ranting out what's being kept within me for so long.
Somebody I used to know.
Music is in fact a very powerful tool in evoking certain emotions in us, also reliving bad memories and good O'times. I was once a crazy fan of music. Having equipped with at least 300songs in my mobile phone, I wouldn't leave my house without my earpiece and of course, never fail to blast them in my ears when I'm on the streets. Well, I used to keep track of all the latest hits and go crazy over certain songs for at least 2weeks. Sad to say, those songs are often the ones that evoke my emotions and bad memories. But, oh well.
That's probably the main reason why I stopped listening to songs lest they affect my emotions when flashbacks of cool memories run through my mind. Had too much friendship problems back then and to think that I have lost them in the midst of confusion and misunderstanding. No matter how much initiative I took, things just didn't get better. Sad to say, it's because of all these trust issues that's warping my perception of people.
Seemingly nice, yet cunningly mean.
I know it sounds judgemental but all these painful lessons in life taught me to be conscious and self-centred. I mean, by entrusting someone fully isn't going to bring too much benefits, is it? Sigh, probably yes for different kinds of people. But, after the repetitive issues over the years, I'm starting to develop trust issues. I mean, it's the same logic as, 'The boy who called Wolf'', isn't it?
Overtime, some people left too much of an impact on me. And that's when I have decided to put a stop to listening to songs. A stop to interacting so much with people. A stop in sharing so much with anyone. It was done previously on purpose, but it turns out to be a routine/weird behaviour eventually. Hardly felt anything. Hardly thought about any sad stuff. Hardly able to express my views openly any more. Cool to feel no pain, yeah?
Prolly not. But I miss the good O' times when I'm naive and ignorant about how ugly the world is. For now, I need to stop blogging all my sadness and read more books. Well, I trust books. For all I know and what I need to know is that, books won't betray my feelings.
That's surely assuring enough.






